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Workshop war stories 
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QFP80 - Contributor

Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:54 pm
Posts: 67
Location: South Shithole
So I've got this huge oil leak on my LR Disco V8. A Land Rover with an oil leak, stranger things have been known. Its either the the valley gasket at the back or the rear crank seal, I think. Or both.

First thing is to get the mud off, just been on some serious tracks, not sure if you'd call them roads by Euro/US standards. Canadians and Aussies might understand. Fire up the high pressure cleaner, no effect on mud. Scrape mud off manually, rinse, repeat. Now there is oil all under the car, impossible to see where it comes from. Out with the steam cleaner and fill up, turn it on. Dig out the ramps, clean off all the spiders (just recovered from 10 days of misery after a spider bite) and cobwebs. Move 2 other cars out the way. Try to start car, won't start because if water from high pressure cleaner. Spay Q20 on coils, plugs, etc. Finally started and onto ramps, Put on overalls, old shoes, industrial gloves, shower cap, face mask, goggles and climb under car. Spray and brush in degreaser. Press steam cleaner trigger and phht. Damn thing blocks. Can't now now open it up it or it will blow up in in my face. So my day is basically ucked.

Sat Apr 26, 2014 8:38 pm
QFP80 - Contributor

Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:54 pm
Posts: 67
Location: South Shithole
So I'm priming the oil pump with a cordless drill. Eagerly I watch the cam bearing for the first signs of oil.


Presently I notice I'm standing in a spreading pool of oil.

Forgot to put the oil filter on!

Sheepishly install oil filter. Try again.


Suddenly a minor explosion and OLD, dirty oil squirts sideways out the block. WTF?!

Forgot to put the oil pressure switch in!

But the oil is old, there must have been a blockage in the oilway (engine was stripped because the "replace engine" light came on permanently) and I just cleared it. The blockage survived 24 hours in a cleaning tank.

Incompetence has its virtues.

Wed Nov 05, 2014 9:32 am
LQFP112 - Up with the play
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Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2013 9:40 am
Posts: 113
experience is the sum of (y)our mistakes, so you are almost a pro now ;)

Fri Nov 07, 2014 9:30 am
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